I can't believe I get so lazy with these posts. Seems like there is always so much going on, but I forget to make record of it all. Lets see, things lately have been pretty good. The one "thorn" in my life right now is my job. It is way too much for me!

Last week at church, our pastor talked about how we need to make sure we seek out God's will before making any decision. If we don't do this, we can end up in a mess. He specifically talked about if a job is offered to you all wrapped up in a nice package with a promotion and all....it still might not be the best for you or your family. WELL, that is exactly what happened to me!

Right when I returned to work from medical leave, my director basically begged me to take this new job. A few other team members convinced me as well. I thought to myself, "huh, if this door is opening up so easily for me it MUST be from God." So even though I could faintly hear this voice inside my heart telling me it wasn't right, I went ahead and accepted it. It paid about 25% more than what I was making, how bad could it be?

Well, it turned out to be bad! I mean real bad. My friends and my husband say it has affected me in a negative way. Money is not worth it folks! All of my doctors are telling me to find a new job. So Im working on it. Still, to reflect back to some of my older posts...the only "job" I think I will truly find satisfaction from is being a mother. How challenging, frustrating, life changing and amazing all in one. So here I am in this massive mess that I've gotten myself into yelling "rescue me God! Where are you anyways." But for now, I need to find something that causes less stress and more balance. Doctor's orders and all :)

Other than some recent aches and pains, things are well though. I am so so blessed with my amazing husband! Man, he has been my rock and my "calm" throughout this all. He is so resilient and consistent no matter what. I sometimes feel guilty for putting him through so much in our marriage, and it's only been 2 years. No one should have to go through what he has gone through. I couldn't have dreamt of a more perfect man for me. Thank you Lord :) I admire him so much, come to think of it I should really tell him that more often. He is a wonderful, passionate, hard working, funny, zealous, intelligent man of God! I love him more than I love myself.

Ok, I digress. The BEST thing about this next month, is we are going to Jamaica! We are going to an all inclusive resort...5 star of course. But we are just thrilled! it's going to be our first real vacation since our honeymoon! I can already feel the warm rays of sun dancing across my face. Ah bliss. Im sure that will help with the pains I've been having lately and the stress!

I declare that 2011 is going to be a year of health, healing and happiness! Hopefully it is the year I will become a "mom" too! Oh I dream of the day. Every single day I learn to hear the Lord more clearly and yearn to be more like Him. His grace is truly enough!

Love and blessings

I am finding it to be almost comical how God keeps throwing stuff at me. I think he does that in order to remind us of who is really in charge. One of my good friends put it best, "Liz, you've had it so rough this last year. There is never really a high for you, it is just flat and then a huge low, flat and then a huge low." Ha. I guess I never thought about it like that.

This last Tuesday, July 27th, I had my surgery for my ovarian cyst, my endometriosis and my tubal procedure. All and all it was a good experience. I mean, as good as surgeries could go I guess. I had the procedure at Fairview Southdale in Edina, MN. The nursing staff and doctors were wonderful! They gave me a narcotic/pain killer prior to the surgery just to "take the edge off." That stuff was amazing!

The surgery took just about 2 hours (from the time I went on the table to the time I woke up). They were able to completely remove the cyst including it's casing as well as all the endometriosis. They also checked to make sure my tubes were open so that someday I will be able to get pregnant. So it looks like in a few months I will be good to go on the baby-front.

Now I am just facing the long road to recovery. Honestly, I am in a lot more pain than I thought I would be. My husband thinks it is a joke I think. Men just don't really understand it. They don't have these "woman-parts" so they think you just have a bad stomach ache or something. I think I explained it best by saying, "I feel like a 90 year old hunchback with a gunshot wound to my abdomen." And Im not even being dramatic. We will see how fast this body of mine can recovery.

One of the blessings I am seeing out of this whole experience is how many people love and care for Mike and I. I almost feel guilty for how much people have been helping us out, praying for us, making us meals and sending me flowers. I am overwhelmed with kindness. Both Mike and I feel so blessed to be part of such an amazing church where we have found this support. It is like no other community I have ever been a part of! God is so good and so gracious. It blows my mind!

I think this is enough for now. My narcotics are kicking in and my body is wanting to hit the snooze button. Overall, the actual surgery wasn't bad. Now Im praying for a quick recovery so I can return to life!

Love and Blessings

So again, I haven't posted in a while. But I figure it is only me reading this thing anyways :o) I think I should post more when I have positive updates. Really, I am SO blessed. I need to focus more on all of the blessings in my life rather than the few dark specs on the large sheet of white paper.

This last month was the first month that my husband and I thought I could be pregnant. It was the first month that we were ok with the possibility that we could have a baby. So my expected period came and went. I also had a lot of interesting symptoms. Nausea, fatigue, headaches, pelvic pain, and a whole list of others. These symptoms were new to me...I figured, huh I must be pregnant. Needless to say, Mike and I were thrilled!

The symptom that stood out to me the most was the persistent pelvic pain. I wasn't sure why I was having so much pain. It hurt so much to even sleep on my stomach. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Ok, I took 4 but who is counting :o) They were all negative. Still no period though. I began to think something was wrong.

I made an appointment with my Ob Gyn to see what was up. Luckily she was able to do an ultra sound. Unluckily she discovered some not so great stuff. It turns out I have a rather large cyst on my left ovary. I also have endometriosis. The things that worry me are endo. is chronic, there is no cure. And both cysts and endo have a negative affect on fertility.

Honestly, if I could narrow my life down to one goal it would be to have a child...and be a mom. I have wanted that since I was little! I remember dressing up my cats in baby clothes just so I could call them "my baby." It has been a desire that has been deeply engraved into my bones. Now, to have someone tell me that this dream could be in jeopardy just rips my heart out.

So the next step is surgery. The idea is to get the endometriosis under control to manage the intense pain and to improve my possibility of being able to conceive. So I am scheduled for surgery.

Im not sure what will happen from here. I AM thankful that they found the issue and that I can get it treated. I just hope I am able to live a fairly normal life. I never imagined so many things would happen to me.

Oh, one last thing. About 8 months ago I also had went into a previous family doctor because of pelvic pain. They did a CT scan and ultra sound and at that time there was ALSO a cyst on my left ovary. It wasn't as large, but it was there. At the time, they didn't seem to be too worried. Now my new doctor, a specialist thinks that the cyst then, might be the same cyst now but it just keeps growing. Thanks a lot old Dr. :o) If you think something is wrong...LISTEN to your body.

Well that is it for tonight. Love and blessings!

Aspartame: Sweet Intoxicaion

So I have not posted anything for nearly 5 months. The last 5 months have been the most challenging months of my life. I had finally received a referral to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN. My appointments started December 22nd and ran through this month (February). All in all I had over 40 appointments including countless MRIs, CT scans, bone scans, surgeries, blood tests, biopsies and numerous other tests that I can't remember the names of. Finally the last doctor I see asks me if I chew a lot of gum or drink diet sodas. I find this question odd because I don't see how those common household items could make me so sick. So I blew her off.

Over the next few days I was thinking about the doctor's question again. So I went and looked at a pack of gum I chew and a can of soda. The one thing that the two items had in common was they both contained aspartame. So I grabbed my computer and did some quick research on aspartame. Turns out that there can be some pretty deadly side effects. Some of the main symptoms are muscle twitches, nerve/muscle pain, headaches, dizziness, ringing in ears and a lot more. A complete list can be found on this site about Aspartame.

Without telling anyone I had decided that I would cut aspartame out of my diet. I was very skeptical as it seemed too easy. Also note, that I had been eating an entire pack of gum every single day. You could say I was addicted. Well over the next few days I began to feel gradually better. I couldn't believe it! All of my symptoms started to subside. Could it really be that easy?

So I went back to the Dr. at Mayo who had originally asked me about the gum and the soda. Right away I asked her "why did you ask me about gum and soda?" Her answer was, "because of the artificial sweetener, aspartame. It is well documented that it can cause a whole lot of symptoms." So then I told her what I had been doing and how I was improving. I was still in SHOCK and disbelief.

Things had gotten so bad with my health and suspected "Fibromyalgia" that I had taken a medical leave from work. And now I could possibly be on the road to recovery. I know to a lot of people this may sound crazy and I thought myself that it was crazy. That is, until I started getting my life back. Even those that love me noticed an immediate difference in how I was acting and what I was now capable of doing.

I am now back at work and getting back into the swing of life. I am still not 100% but it has only been 5 weeks since I stopped consuming this poison. All of the research states it should take about 60-90 days to get out of my system completely. It greatly disturbs me that our government allows such a substance in our food with no warning! I had no idea that aspartame could cause such horrendous side effects. I just want to share my story with the world so I am able to help just one person. One thing is for sure, this has changed my way of life and how I look at food for the better. Look out for aspartame! It could be lurking in your foods, drugs, vitamins and drinks.

Blessings and love!