Friday, July 16, 2010

So again, I haven't posted in a while. But I figure it is only me reading this thing anyways :o) I think I should post more when I have positive updates. Really, I am SO blessed. I need to focus more on all of the blessings in my life rather than the few dark specs on the large sheet of white paper.

This last month was the first month that my husband and I thought I could be pregnant. It was the first month that we were ok with the possibility that we could have a baby. So my expected period came and went. I also had a lot of interesting symptoms. Nausea, fatigue, headaches, pelvic pain, and a whole list of others. These symptoms were new to me...I figured, huh I must be pregnant. Needless to say, Mike and I were thrilled!

The symptom that stood out to me the most was the persistent pelvic pain. I wasn't sure why I was having so much pain. It hurt so much to even sleep on my stomach. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Ok, I took 4 but who is counting :o) They were all negative. Still no period though. I began to think something was wrong.

I made an appointment with my Ob Gyn to see what was up. Luckily she was able to do an ultra sound. Unluckily she discovered some not so great stuff. It turns out I have a rather large cyst on my left ovary. I also have endometriosis. The things that worry me are endo. is chronic, there is no cure. And both cysts and endo have a negative affect on fertility.

Honestly, if I could narrow my life down to one goal it would be to have a child...and be a mom. I have wanted that since I was little! I remember dressing up my cats in baby clothes just so I could call them "my baby." It has been a desire that has been deeply engraved into my bones. Now, to have someone tell me that this dream could be in jeopardy just rips my heart out.

So the next step is surgery. The idea is to get the endometriosis under control to manage the intense pain and to improve my possibility of being able to conceive. So I am scheduled for surgery.

Im not sure what will happen from here. I AM thankful that they found the issue and that I can get it treated. I just hope I am able to live a fairly normal life. I never imagined so many things would happen to me.

Oh, one last thing. About 8 months ago I also had went into a previous family doctor because of pelvic pain. They did a CT scan and ultra sound and at that time there was ALSO a cyst on my left ovary. It wasn't as large, but it was there. At the time, they didn't seem to be too worried. Now my new doctor, a specialist thinks that the cyst then, might be the same cyst now but it just keeps growing. Thanks a lot old Dr. :o) If you think something is wrong...LISTEN to your body.

Well that is it for tonight. Love and blessings!

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