Again, being I use this primarily as a journal-type blog, this is a completely transparent post. Not sure if I should post it, but I'm going to anyways :)
Things have been moving a long quite well lately. Im feeling a little better, I actually gained weight for the first time this pregnancy which is great, I feel so blessed, we are building a new house and Mike is loving his new job. However, there is one area of my life that I wish I could improve on. Im not exactly sure how to do this, because it doesn't completely depend on only me.
The area of my life I'd love to grow in is developing deeper friendships or just having more friends in general. I don't know what it is but I can't seem to develop deep friendships with my girl friends. In high school, I had a whole tight group of girls that I could always go to. Even in college, I had a group of wonderful ladies that had my back and I had theirs. Now that Im out of school and in the real world, I really really struggle with this!
I seem to meet a lot of great people, but am just not able to cultivate that deeper connection. Then it gets me thinking, perhaps it is me?! Am I a "bad friend" to begin with? Am I too selfish that people have a difficult time connecting with me? Am I not there for people when they need me? It has been so confusing for me because I try and do nice thoughtful things for people like send cards when something good happens or when there are hardships, attend events for my friends, pray for anyone who needs anything and I try and make plans with people. It seems to be an area many girls probably struggle with. Girls need a lot more substance in friendships than guys do. Like my husband, he merely meets a guy and chats for 5 minutes and suddenly they are "best buds" and hanging out! I completely don't understand that. hahah
Sometimes I think a lot of it stems back to the time in my life when I was really sick. For about a year I was sick. As most of my friends know, I was in and out of Mayo Clinic for several months and even on disability for a while. It was the darkest part of my life. I felt completely isolated and just left alone to deal with everything. Im sure no one really understood what exactly I was going through anyways. So, during that time it was nearly impossible to make any friends let alone keep any. I felt a little abandoned during that time. Perhaps I was expecting too much though.
I think I feel more "needy" during this season of my life because I am going through so many changes. I wish I had a few friends (or even one) who I could just call up and chat with about whatever. I have NO clue about being pregnant or how to care for kids, so of course that is a popular subject. Obviously, my husband is my very best friend and I adore him, but sometimes I just need a girl friend to sit down with.
So instead of sitting here trying to psychoanalyze myself, I will just pray about it. I mean you can't force anyone to be your friend anyways! haha. Oh one weird thing too, I found my whole life I've connected really well with guys as friends. But obviously being married now, that wouldn't be respectful of my husband or just productive in general, so that wont work. Hmmm. I think I will post an add on Craigslist that reads, "Wanted: More Friends". haha. We'll see how that works! J/K of course :) Or maybe there is a match.com for finding good friendships! That is how I met my dear husband after all.
Love and blessings!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Goin' Hunting
Yes, my husband and I have been hunting. House hunting that is :) I've always had a fascination with real estate and homes. One of my favorite channels is HGTV. There is just something about finding that perfect home that has always been a part of my life-dream.
Now of course, there is a level of "fun" to the house hunt. However, there is also quite a bit of stress in the mix. There is a substantial laundry list of things to look for when considering which home to buy. For example, location, good school, open floor plan, room to grow, wont need updates for the next 10 years, in a safe neighborhood, updated kitchen, large master bed and bath, some sort of yard, fireplaces....you get the idea. There is a LOT to consider. I think this time around is more meaningful to us because this home is the place we will be raising our family. My husband and I were both fortunate to have a good childhood and upbringing, we only pray we can provide the same stability for our kids.
Just another fun twist to this all, is of course I have been feeling the need to "nest" already! I've been a lot cleaner than normal around the house. I have been hand-washing dishes even, which trust me is a HUGE deal :) I would love to start thinking about nursery designs, but who even knows where we will be living! As of July 1st, we are essentially "homeless." So, no pressure or anything right? ha.
And again, here we are relying completely on God. I have been in prayer about our future house for a few weeks now. Praying that God would provide us with just the right house and He would give us a peace about it. I know it will work out, I mean God has done FAR greater things for us than finding a home :) I need to remind myself to sit back and relax and let God truly take control. Let go Liz, let go. Lord, please help us find our next home. Amen!
Love and Blessings!
Now of course, there is a level of "fun" to the house hunt. However, there is also quite a bit of stress in the mix. There is a substantial laundry list of things to look for when considering which home to buy. For example, location, good school, open floor plan, room to grow, wont need updates for the next 10 years, in a safe neighborhood, updated kitchen, large master bed and bath, some sort of yard, fireplaces....you get the idea. There is a LOT to consider. I think this time around is more meaningful to us because this home is the place we will be raising our family. My husband and I were both fortunate to have a good childhood and upbringing, we only pray we can provide the same stability for our kids.
Just another fun twist to this all, is of course I have been feeling the need to "nest" already! I've been a lot cleaner than normal around the house. I have been hand-washing dishes even, which trust me is a HUGE deal :) I would love to start thinking about nursery designs, but who even knows where we will be living! As of July 1st, we are essentially "homeless." So, no pressure or anything right? ha.
And again, here we are relying completely on God. I have been in prayer about our future house for a few weeks now. Praying that God would provide us with just the right house and He would give us a peace about it. I know it will work out, I mean God has done FAR greater things for us than finding a home :) I need to remind myself to sit back and relax and let God truly take control. Let go Liz, let go. Lord, please help us find our next home. Amen!
Love and Blessings!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Abundant Blessings
So I am finally able to share the totality of everything that has been going on as of late. As I look back at the past few months, I am blown away and deeply humbled by God's abundant blessings in our lives. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks, that containing all of my joy has been one huge undertaking.
Just a really quick recap of our first few years of marriage. Literally, the very first day after we returned from our honeymoon, I found out I was laid off from my job. This was devastating. We had just gotten married, moved in together and purchased our first home. The last stressor we needed was a loss of income. I went on to be unemployed for about 4 months, you can imagine the strain this caused on our young, fragile marriage. Also shortly after we moved into our home, I started getting sick. Really sick. Just over a year ago I was spending about 2 months going back and forth to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. I was on medical disability. I went through countless procedures and tests. Finally, the root cause was discovered. But again, it wasn't easy on our marriage. I also must say, in this prolonged storm of our lives, my husband and I grew closer than I could have ever imagined. We saw each other's most vulnerable places and witnessed each other's darkest sides as well. But with God, we came out stronger. However, I was beginning to wonder if our whole marriage was going to be filled with one trial after the other. What happened to the "honeymoon phase?" :)
Fast forward about a year....As you all know, I am pregnant, which in and of itself is a miracle! About 9 months ago, my Dr. had told me that I may never be able to have children. They had found a large cyst as well as endometriosis and I needed surgery. Those words clawed at my deepest heart's desire. I wasn't prepared to hear that I might not be able to have children and wasn't ready to accept it. By God's amazing grace, here we are now expecting a baby! We truly couldn't be more thrilled!
Another thing we had been trying to deal with is our housing situation. We aren't able to sell our home because of the market and what we paid for it, but we wanted to move for more space and the number of issues we've found in our home. For most people, our home would be fine. But Im sensitive to a few things that we've found in our home and I've been more sick since we've moved in here. So, we had been trying to rent out our home. Well, we found some renters. Some GREAT renters. They are a married older couple with one 16 year old child that will be living with them. They are Christians and clean and all of their references checked out great! We are so happy to have them in our home. Praise God again!
The final blessing that I am just floored by, is my husband got a new job!!!! This is something he's been trying at for a while now. He actually had an amazing job offer with a large well-known company in Michigan. It would be a great financial opportunity! But we would have to leave our family and our close friends and support group at our church, which we love! Being pregnant and after much prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we decided despite the financial gain, this opportunity was not the right one for us. So he turned it down. Not kidding, the NEXT day, this other opportunity he had applied for starting moving, fast! We weren't sure how much this paid or the details, but doors were opening left and right. The next thing we knew, my husband was on a flight for a final interview. Turns out this job was even a better opportunity than the one in Michigan AND it is in the cities! This is the best of the best! God knew there was something even better in store for us and all we had to do was listen to His will for our lives! Well, he got the job!!!!!!!!! We are now house hunting in the South West Metro :)
Really, I am just so so so so thankful, humbled, overwhelmed and in awe of God's provisions in our lives. Can you believe it!? We have been knocked down by blessing after blessing after blessing! We don't deserve these types of blessings. I just am so over joyed. I guess this is a story to never give up hope. There were days just a year ago that I just tried to put all of my dreams on hold or forget about them and just "get by" through life. Thankfully, God had even BIGGER things in store. I can't even believe what He has done and can't wait to see what other amazing journeys He has for us yet. Thank you Lord for your abundant blessings!
Love and Blessings!
Just a really quick recap of our first few years of marriage. Literally, the very first day after we returned from our honeymoon, I found out I was laid off from my job. This was devastating. We had just gotten married, moved in together and purchased our first home. The last stressor we needed was a loss of income. I went on to be unemployed for about 4 months, you can imagine the strain this caused on our young, fragile marriage. Also shortly after we moved into our home, I started getting sick. Really sick. Just over a year ago I was spending about 2 months going back and forth to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. I was on medical disability. I went through countless procedures and tests. Finally, the root cause was discovered. But again, it wasn't easy on our marriage. I also must say, in this prolonged storm of our lives, my husband and I grew closer than I could have ever imagined. We saw each other's most vulnerable places and witnessed each other's darkest sides as well. But with God, we came out stronger. However, I was beginning to wonder if our whole marriage was going to be filled with one trial after the other. What happened to the "honeymoon phase?" :)
Fast forward about a year....As you all know, I am pregnant, which in and of itself is a miracle! About 9 months ago, my Dr. had told me that I may never be able to have children. They had found a large cyst as well as endometriosis and I needed surgery. Those words clawed at my deepest heart's desire. I wasn't prepared to hear that I might not be able to have children and wasn't ready to accept it. By God's amazing grace, here we are now expecting a baby! We truly couldn't be more thrilled!
Another thing we had been trying to deal with is our housing situation. We aren't able to sell our home because of the market and what we paid for it, but we wanted to move for more space and the number of issues we've found in our home. For most people, our home would be fine. But Im sensitive to a few things that we've found in our home and I've been more sick since we've moved in here. So, we had been trying to rent out our home. Well, we found some renters. Some GREAT renters. They are a married older couple with one 16 year old child that will be living with them. They are Christians and clean and all of their references checked out great! We are so happy to have them in our home. Praise God again!
The final blessing that I am just floored by, is my husband got a new job!!!! This is something he's been trying at for a while now. He actually had an amazing job offer with a large well-known company in Michigan. It would be a great financial opportunity! But we would have to leave our family and our close friends and support group at our church, which we love! Being pregnant and after much prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we decided despite the financial gain, this opportunity was not the right one for us. So he turned it down. Not kidding, the NEXT day, this other opportunity he had applied for starting moving, fast! We weren't sure how much this paid or the details, but doors were opening left and right. The next thing we knew, my husband was on a flight for a final interview. Turns out this job was even a better opportunity than the one in Michigan AND it is in the cities! This is the best of the best! God knew there was something even better in store for us and all we had to do was listen to His will for our lives! Well, he got the job!!!!!!!!! We are now house hunting in the South West Metro :)
Really, I am just so so so so thankful, humbled, overwhelmed and in awe of God's provisions in our lives. Can you believe it!? We have been knocked down by blessing after blessing after blessing! We don't deserve these types of blessings. I just am so over joyed. I guess this is a story to never give up hope. There were days just a year ago that I just tried to put all of my dreams on hold or forget about them and just "get by" through life. Thankfully, God had even BIGGER things in store. I can't even believe what He has done and can't wait to see what other amazing journeys He has for us yet. Thank you Lord for your abundant blessings!
Love and Blessings!
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