Tough Stuff Kinda Day

Today was a tough day. Much tougher for my sister than it was for me, but tough none the less. Since I promised myself I would be transparent, I have to admit today made me a little upset with God.

For those of you that don't know, my younger sister has Crohn's Disease. No, it's not colitis or IBS, it is much more intrusive than that...and it is a life-long auto immune disease with a lot of complications.

Unfortunately, my sister has already had a lot of progression with this disease. Today she had her fourth surgery. I wont go into too many details out of respect for her, but basically she's had problems with fistulas, which you can read about through the link above. This has been really painful for her and has been emotionally and spiritually trying on her. It's been really tough on me too just because I would literally give my life not to see her suffer. I try and stay strong around her when Im with her, but then crumble to peices the moment I leave. It just doesn't seem fair.

Yet...SHE is the one going through this and SHE is the one that is holding it all together. I told her in a note today that I am inspired by her. Her strength, determination and endurance through this all is simply amazing! Her spiritual life has flourished through every ache, pain and tear. Instead of obsessing about the "why me," she dives into the "who are you God." Wow. I love her so dearly.

So today, the surgery did go well but there are a lot of rough roads ahead. Things didn't turn out as well as we all hoped. But we must remember that God has His hand in even the most violent of storms. It isn't fair. And I might be a little upset with God right now. But I KNOW that God works ALL things for the good of those that love Him (Romans 8:28). I find comfort in the truth. And I will continue to desperately lift up my dear sister, my dearest friend, that she may find strength and peace in the Lord and be healed by His holy hand!

LOVE and blessing!

Stirring Things Up

So as if we didn't have enough uncertainty to deal with already, today a few other things got thrown into the mix. I really do try and keep this blog pretty positive, because overall I am a positive person! But today I just feel the need to do a little "venting." :) So I apologize in advance.

Well, yesterday Mike's car "broke." I say "broke" because I am not sure exactly what happened, but it doesn't work. So he left it in the work parking lot and now is driving a scary van (think sex offender looking van, which is creepy!). That was obviously unexpected and is going to cost a decent amount of money. We also got back some test results today. We had done some radon testing in our home a few weeks ago. Turns out that our radon levels in our home are twice as high as the EPA recommends to be "safe." Do a quick search on "radon" in Google and you quickly see it is a really toxic substance in unsafe levels. We are having a radon mitigation team come in next week to take care of that. Also, that adds a couple grand to the total.

Whew. Now normally this kind of thing wouldn't stretch me too thin! But as you have read before, there were already lots of things going on! Now more than ever! We are so uncertain how things are going to work out. So HELP us God. God is in the business of victory, and boy we sure could use one. I try to remind myself throughout the day that God does all things for the GOOD of those that love Him. That brings comfort to my mind. But every now and then, I slip back to the worry and anxiety of my mind. I get lost in the whirling waves of emotion that go through my head and forget to focus on the One true source of hope, light and peace.

Just thought Id give an update. I look forward to letting everyone know how all of these things have panned out and how God had His gracious hand in everything all along. Right now, it's just a bit hard to see. I am looking forward to "normal" one day....whatever that is anyways. Trust trust trust.

Love and Blessings!

Love-Documented

This is a short post, but one that means a lot to me. For those of you who don't know, my husband is busy getting his MBA. This means that most of his evenings and weekends are spent slaving away over tedious homework. On top of that, he of course is working full time. I honestly don't know how the man does it, but he does and he does it well! (All A's thus far). So if you can imagine, "our time" and romance sometimes take the back seat.

This morning Mike was out the door around 5:30 AM. I didn't get to talk to him at all! He left early so he could finish some homework prior to starting work. Just seeing his smiling face is one of the highlights of my morning, so I was sad that I missed out on that.

Well, I went downstairs and waiting there for me was a "love note." This was the most romantic thing I could ever ask for! Not many people take the time to hand write a little note to anyone these days, especially when they are so pressed for time. This simple and free little note brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my soul. The fact that he took the time to slow down in his rush out the door and take time to make sure I knew he loved me was so sweet. It truly is the little things that count.



My "love tank" is full and once again, I consider myself blessed! I am one lucky lady!

Love and blessings!

An "Unwanted" Blessing

I am pretty sure God almost finds humor in surprising us in ways much beyond what we would expect (again, somewhat related to my posts below). We might be praying and praying for something specific, and then He does indeed answer us...but not even remotely close in the way in which we expected. SURPRISE!

That definitely has been happening to me over the past several months. Today specifically, I was very aware of the great blessing God was bestowing upon me. As I was conversing with coworkers, destroying my "to do" list and trying to be a rock star at what I do...I forgot that I "hate" my job. Huh. That caught me off guard. There I was, committed to hating my job, yet I found myself...dare I say "enjoying it?" WOAH!

Yep, there I said it! Today I ENJOYED my job! Im not sure if it necessarily was because of the actual work per say, but it was the interaction, discussion and communication I was having with my friends and my clients. I felt useful, valued, heard and respected today. It was the most bizarre thing. The first few people I saw were seemingly more friendly than usual and bathed me in compliments...obviously a great way to get to any girl's heart. It was almost like I tried to fight letting myself slip into a comfortable place of satisfaction. This just wasn't right!...or was it?!

Later on in the day, I just paused for a moment and listened to all the babble that was going on in my head. A light suddenly went off in my heart that this was SO clearly God's answer to my prayer. It was not at ALL how I thought He would pull through for me...but there it was. God had opened my eyes and mind to LIKE my job. What?! And I was perfectly "happy" just hating it! haha. I am so thankful that God knows me so much better than I know myself.

So I found myself blessed today as I said a quick "thank you" to my wonderful Creator. I accepted His loving gift to me this day and cherish it with all my heart. I prayed and prayed for my job and boy did He answer. We will see how God continues to surprise me...sometimes in ways that I may expect and sometimes in ways that throw me for a loop. But His ways area always perfect and His timing is never late :)

Love and Blessings!

Are You Calling Me Crazy?!

I figured I had to write a blog post because I had so many thoughts going on in my mind. Today as I was working out, I was thinking how at peace I felt. I was on one of the machines just sweating away thinking, "I have this peace about everything. I don't know why at all. And I have no idea how things are going to work out, but I feel like so many blessings are about to pour out from Him." I was then thinking about how I shared briefly with a few people about all of the things that are up in the air right now. The very large majority of the people I've talked to said things like, "what are you going to do?!" all panicked. That brought me to think to myself, "I must be crazy. Literally crazy because Im not worried at all!"

Now, anyone that is reading this might not truly believe me that I am completely at peace. But I truly am! I don't just "hope" everything is going to work out, but I "KNOW" everything will. This has only happened to me one other time in my life where I felt this way. Then too, everything was up in the air! I mean everything. But I knew then as I know now that God was going to provide and do something big! I knew and I know, that everything is going to fall into place.

My husband and I have obviously been praying about everything constantly. I have been praying specifically for God's will. I have been praying for peace and that if it is His will, doors will open in a super-natural way. This brought me to Philippians 4:6-7 ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I LOVE that verse and I love when God's word is so clearly illustrated in our day to day lives. It is so beautiful and one of the million reasons why I love Him :)

So, I am VERY excited! I am excited about, well "nothing" yet! haha. (there goes that crazy thing again). But I am excited about what is to come! I am excited about God's faithfulness and blessings which I can just sense are about to sweep into our lives. So we're in a storm, but it's God's storm and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

So call me crazy or call me nuts, but I am at peace. Im praising God for all of my blessings, everything he has done and will do...whatever it may be! I can't WAIT. Till next time

Love and Blessings